If you really what to know what is going on in the mind and life of Kristin...read the whole post.
As many of you know...I like to sing. Many have told me that I have a great voice, and with the compliments it's easy to fall into the place of "what I am able to do" and not really give God the glory for the gift that I have.
I remember praying when I was around the age of 16..."Lord, if I ever abuse my voice and take the glory that is due to you, or if I'm not doing what you want me to do please take my voice away". It sounds like a silly prayer but through the years God has been faithful to get my attention through my voice.
In the last few years I haven't really sang a lot...I haven't really pursued a lot of singing opportunities and when you don't use it...you lose it. It's not that I don't have a passion for it, but rather I was hiding in fear that I would abuse it if I used it.
Fear is huge it can paralyze you without you knowing it. I didn't realize all the things I held back because of fear. I fear failure, rejection, what people think...the list goes on and on. I have come to realize that I have hidden behind this fear so I won't do anything and therefore "I am safe". Then you find yourself in a comfort zone that is hard to get past because you have been there so long....I say "you" but I really mean "I"...I'm sure someone could relate though to what I'm saying.
Well when Erik and I moved to Arizona Erik's path to building his career was pretty clear. He had a job. He now loves his job. He was considering doing his Ph.D. down here...and still is. A lot has opened up for Erik down here. However, many people asked. "Well, what do you plan on doing Kristin?"...haha...good question. I guess the assumption was that I would apply for teaching positions at a private Christian school. However, most schools don't hire in January. And I guess the idea of Take Shape for Life was still in the mix of what I would like to do...but I did have some hang ups. While I love teaching it's not where my heart is right now. I also adore coaching...but I don't see the time commitment coming available that would allow Erik and I to still act like a married couple. I still enjoy both teaching and coaching...but how do I do this when we are close to starting a family (I guess if most readers want to read into this you can...but we won't say).
Well, last week I attended the Take Shape for Life conference in Florida. I previously had some hang ups with maybe the approach that the company took and methods that I didn't think seemed right. Well....I was really wrong. Not only was I wrong about the company and the small little hang ups I had with it. But this convention pointed out some huge fears in my life. I was fearful that people would see me as someone who was approaching them for my own gain...wrong...I was so concerned about myself. I was fearful that they would reject me and I would personally attach myself to the rejection. I can't attach myself to something like that. It's like asking, "Do you want cream with your coffee?" If they say no they are not saying no to me...they are saying no to the cream. I also had a fear of what people would think of me. Wow I'm selfish. Well at some point I have to start caring about others and stop caring about myself.
So the whole convention kicked my butt. And to be honest I'm excited. I am being stretched beyond my comfort zones and I don't want to run back to my safe little fears that don't let me do anything.
All that to say I have my focus and why I'm in Tucson for myself. I'm here to help this state get healthy. Not only that...I get to be a Coach and Teacher...what I love but I get to do it from home. I get to celebrate my clients successes with them. I get to encourage them. I get to coach them. I have a drive that makes me excited each day to see who I can find and tell about Take Shape for Life. Through this process I'm excited to see what God does.
So you know how I mentioned at the beginning of the post that I got my voice back...well...as I returned home I spent some time with my guitar "Derek" and spent some time singing...and my voice is back and stronger. It's really encouraging to see how God gives and takes away for seasons.
If you at all are interested in making a healthy lifestyle change by doing Take Shape for Life please send me a message. I would love to coach you through the process and help you own your health.
More to come...I am going to my first networking event soon and quite frankly it terrifies me....but I'm going to conquer the fear.
Thanks for reading.
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